


OT3 Shorts

by SingingTheThunder



Category: Leverage
Genre: Bondage, Canon-Typical Violence, D/s, Electricity, Fluff, Multi, OT3, Threesome - F/M/M, mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4318590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingTheThunder/pseuds/SingingTheThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bunch of short pieces based around the Parker/Hardison/Eliot OT3 from Leverage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pre-OT3 awkwardness

“I think I kinda love you.”  
It had been a joke of course. Hardison's reaction to a particularly well made soufflé, but it still made Eliot choke on his coffee and spill it down his white t-shirt. Scowling he shoved himself out of the chair and past a now cackling Hardison. The hitter growled something, probably along the lines of 'damnit, Hardison' and vanished up the stairs to the couple of rooms prepared for emergencies.  
By the time he re-joined Hardison in the briefing room, Parker had turned up and was practising some sort of twist on a rope while their hacker fetched a fresh orange soda from the fridge. Eliot tried to tug the tight t-shirt down enough to cover the waist of his jeans, “Who the hell brought the last load of emergency outfits?”  
Hardison raised his hand, managing to look exactly the opposite of sheepish, “Sophie gave me your measurements, must've put on a little weight there.”  
“I have not put on weight!” Eliot snarled, “And since when did Sophie have my measurements?”  
Hardison shrugged as he headed back to the counter, eyes maybe wandering a little over the hitter. “You're fine, but it bothers you that much, you can go get your own damn shirts.”


	2. Hurt!Eliot

“This is gonna hurt ...”  
Eliot somehow managed to express the sentiment 'duh' without twitching a muscle and Hardison started cleaning the deep cut on Eliot's forearm. On the hitter's other side Parker held his hand tightly, looking annoyed and staring at Hardison until he spoke.  
“You've gotta stop taking these risks, man. Guy comes at you with a knife you get someth-”  
“Quit telling me how to do my job, Hardison.” Eliot snapped, teeth gritted against the pain, “I know what I'm doing.”  
Hardison finished and stepped back, using both his height and the fact Eliot was sitting in an attempt to tower over the hitter, somehow the worried look on his face destroyed any chance of looking intimidating. “Your 'job' isn't to get hurt, your job is to keep everyone on this team safe, including yourself.”  
Eliot started to fold his arms looking unimpressed, but stops with a hiss, “My job is to take the hits meant for you two, okay? I'm fine.”  
Parker sighed quietly as it became clear neither of them were backing down any time soon and flopped back across Eliot's lap and the couch in order to grin up at the pair. The bickering immediately stopped.


	3. Competancy Porn

Parker hauled herself up into the air vent and dragged the cover to a point where at a glance it looked still fastened as the mark entered the office. Two pairs of smart shoes, the closer of which she recognised as belonging to Hardison, stopped right in front of the grill. Parker listened both on coms and in person as the mark failed miserably at pronouncing Hardison's alias. After a moment there was the sound of shuffling papers, then both sets of shoes left the office.  
Another round of pleasantries that had Parker rolling her eyes and Eliot growling to hurry up later and Hardison was able to speak directly to her, “The papers are in the second drawer down, the one marked H-L.”  
“Got it.” Parker whispered back, then slipped out of the vents, silently catching the grill before it could fall. In under thirty seconds she had swapped the two contracts, had replaced the ventilation grill and was climbing out the window just as the vehicle Eliot had been procuring turned the street corner.  
With a whoop that startled Hardison and made both he and Eliot grin, Parker jumped from the third floor window landing neatly on top of the lorry. It was simple enough from there for Parker to swing herself down and through the passenger side window left open for her. She shuffled to the middle seat and the lorry slowed down enough to let Hardison open the door from the pavement outside the front doors to the offices.


	4. More Pre-OT3 awkwardness

Hardison stared into his enemies eyes. There was no chance he could lose this. He'd planned for every contingency. This time he'd win rock paper scissors.  
Eliot stared back, equally intense, waiting for the split second of Hardison's tell.  
“Shotgun on being wait staff!” Parker yelled, startling the two men. Looking both sheepish and confused they turned to her. “What? If you're a waiter no one tries to talk to you or pays attention.” With that she started stripping prompting Eliot and Hardison to spin round as politely as possible. It was Eliot that noticed the large mirror that caused this to have no effect and closed his eyes.  
“Hardison, stop that.” he growled as a second rustle of clothes came from his left.  
“Well, I ain't waiting around while we all try to figure out a modest way to change in one room.” the hacker answered.  
With a loud exasperated sigh, Eliot started changing as well, only to quickly realise that both the others had finished. Parker packed her bag, unconcerned, while Hardison, making sure Eliot noticed, ran his eyes over the hitter's body then winked.  
Feeling strangely flustered, Eliot rolled his eyes and threw on the tuxedo as fast as he practically could. A few moments later he walked past Hardison with a grin and a single word, “Scissors.”  
It took a second to sink in, then Hardison jumped and followed Eliot, “Hey, man, how the hell did you know that? I made sure … you know what I'm not even going to try to deal with this freaky stuff you do.”


	5. One of Hardison and Eliot's many minor arguements

“Hardison!”  
Eliot's bellow rang through the back rooms of a little brew pub and restaurant and was quickly answered by Parker. “He went out!” she yelled back, the quieter sound echoing through the ventilation shafts.  
“Who went where?” Hardison stood in the doorway.  
“Never mind!” came Parker's voice again from the walls.  
The bags Hardison had been holding dropped to the floor with a worrying crack as Eliot slammed him against the wall, one arm blocking off his air. “I've been getting calls all damn day about a couch. Explain.” the hitter snarled.  
Hardison rolled his eyes and waved his arms as well as he could until Eliot allowed him to breathe enough to answer. The hacker took his time recovering, leaning against the wall and only speaking when Eliot's hands started to curl into fists. “It's code, one of my contacts. I stick an ad for a particular couch and … wait you got actual interest?”  
Eliot sighed and shoved Hardison against the wall before storming off.  
“Guess you don't want the groceries you sent me for? Reckon the eggs are gone and that ain't my fault so don't even start.” Hardison followed Eliot through to his kitchen.


	6. New Year's

Parker slipped a couple of sweet tarts from the tray she was carrying into a pocket for later, it seemed a waste of Eliot's cooking to just let the terrible people at the party eat it all. Across the room Hardison chattered amicably with the mark, only to be interrupted by the start of the New Year's countdown.  
Hardison and Parker's eyes met, knowing there was no way of honouring the traditional kiss without breaking their cover. Unable to watch as the mark put a hand on Hardison's arm and leaned in to whisper something in his ear, Parker vanished into the kitchen, supposedly to refill her tray.  
The tray hit the counter with a loud clatter and Parker glared into the distance, resisting the urge to go and stab this mark. Gentle arms suddenly encircled her waist and she tensed until recognising the distinctive smell of Eliot while cooking.  
She turned into his kiss just as the clock was striking twelve and Parker relaxed. Soon enough this con would be over and they could reclaim Hardison. Lucille and the privacy she afforded was only around the corner after all.


	7. Parker's Christmas Shopping

It was always difficult to find presents for her boys.  
Hardison's gift had taken a three month stakeout of a technical company, all while keeping either of them from suspecting. The prototype might have been kept in a safe she could unlock in her sleep, but the pressure pads and CCTV were another issue without the backup of the team she had grown to rely on. In the end it had taken a phone call to Sophie, a box of make up the grifter had sent and a pair of artfully broken high heels. Thankfully, Parker also possessed a store of chloroform.  
Eliot's present had been even more difficult to find. For one thing it was technically illegal, for another Wildlife and Fisheries had been a far harder opponent than she'd expected. Parker knew it would be worth the five hours spent hiding in a ventilation shaft and the car chase to see the expression on Eliot's face.  
Both Sophie and Nate had been simple in comparison, a simple matter of art theft. She had needed to contact a forger she knew, but he owed her a favour and after that it was easy enough for her to switch out the fake for the original.  
In the end everyone had been happy with their presents and as few questions as possible about their origins were asked.


	8. Bondage Fun

“Parker! Parker! C’mon babe don’t leave me like this!” Hardison pleaded with his already vanished girlfriend. A second later he sighed and started tugging at the handcuffs, vaguely hoping that he’d magically figure out how to pull off the escaping trick Parker had been trying to show him. Why was he the one with a girlfriend who left him stark naked and tied face down to a bed?  
Behind him the door opened and Hardison sighed with relief, “Parker, if you’d just show me …”  
He was cut off by a very familiar masculine chuckle. Hardison groaned and tried his best to somehow sink into the mattress and hide. Eliot laughed again, then sat down on the bed, making it dip under Hardison. “So she pulled this with you as well, huh?”  
Hardison twisted his head sideways to glare at his other lover, “How come I didn’t get to find you like this, then?”  
Eliot smirked, “I figured the trick out before you got home.”  
Immediately Hardison’s glare turned into pleading puppy dog eyes, “You have to help me out of this, please?”  
If anything Eliot’s smirk simply grew as he ran his eyes over Hardison’s body, “I guess I could help you, depending on the reward offered.”  
Hardison grinned back.


	9. Convincing Eliot

It was the little things that always got to Eliot.  
When Hardison remembered his coffee order. When Parker chose to sit next to him. When Hardison actually listened to his preferences for once and stocked Lucille with a few good CDs. When Parker had managed to tie a daisy chain around his wrist that he didn’t even notice until later.  
This however, was big.  
“Why me?” Eliot asked, staring across the table to where Hardison and Parker sat side by side. “You’re both attractive and skilled enough at grifting, you go out you could have your pick of a third party. This just confuses our working relationship.”  
Hardison shook his head, “No see when we say we want you to be with us we mean we want you to be with us.”  
Eliot raised an eyebrow and hoped for an explanation.  
Parker started talking at the same moment as Hardison, who went quiet and gestured for her to go ahead. “It’s not that we want to have sex with you. Well, we do, but it’s not just that.” Parker said.  
“Go on.” Eliot leant back in his chair, still not sure exactly what they meant.  
Hardison leaned forward as he spoke, gesticulating, “It’s like this, man, we both uh, we both like you a lot and since we’re practically dating you already …”  
“We should just make it official. There, problem solved. Can we order pizza now?” Parker interjected, hardly pausing for breath.  
Eliot had gone very still, to the point Hardison considered checking if he was still breathing. Then finally he responded, “So … you’re asking me out.” It wasn’t a question but Parker still nodded. “As in the three of us dating?” Parker nodded again. “No. No way.”  
“And why the hell not?” Hardison asked, clearly personally offended by the rejection. “We love you, dude. Like proper sappy, supposed to only come once in a lifetime, but we lucked out and found it twice, type love.”  
Parker sounded more distressed than offended when she spoke, “But you swore. Until your dying day. You’ve been ours since then, this is just …” She waved her hand wildly in an attempt to express what this ‘just’ was.  
“Formalities.” Hardison finished for her.  
“I’m happy with the way things are now.” Eliot said unhappily. “I’m worried enough about what would happen to this team if you two split up.”  
“Not gonna happen.”  
Parker shook her head in agreement with Hardison, “Having you makes that less likely, you can go do robots and stuff Hardison likes with him and you balance us.”  
Hardison reached across the table and managed to grab Eliot’s hand before he could pull away. “I know you, Eliot Spencer and you are not afraid of many things. So what is it that’s scaring you now?”  
Eliot glared and yanked his hand free, “I sure as hell ain’t afraid of you two.” He and Hardison stared each other down, one worried, one apparently furious, until Eliot gave in, “You don’t want me.” He held up a hand to stop their immediate protests, “Sure you think you do, but if you knew half the things I’ve done …” he trailed off, now glaring at the table top.  
“Then tell us.” Parker said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We’ve earned the chance to make that choice ourselves.”  
It took several minutes for Eliot to consider it, but he eventually relented, “Alright, but if you want me out of the team, you think you can’t trust me to protect you anymore, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
“Not gonna happen.” Hardison repeated in as confident a tone as he had used before.  
They spent the whole night at the brewpub in the end, Hardison and Parker only interjecting infrequently as Eliot listed his sins.  
He finished with telling them about when they had gone after Moreau and he had had to pick up a gun again. For the first time throughout the whole ordeal Parker seemed annoyed, “You lied to us?” She pouted for a moment, then the pout became an evil looking grin and she leaned over to whisper something in Hardison’s ear. The hacker immediately began grinning as well and Eliot rethought his statement about being afraid of the pair.  
“You’re still ours.” Parker said confidently, “Right, Hardison?”  
Hardison nodded in agreement, “That’s your past, Eliot. We’ve all changed.”  
The hitter just stared at them, he’d been sure that when he finally got to the end of his list of crimes they’d have changed their minds about wanting anything to do with him.  
“Yeah, you’re not getting rid of us that easily.” Parker stood up and walked round the table to punch Eliot playfully on the arm and then tug him into a rough kiss.  
Hardion watched with a fond smile, before moving round to Eliot’s other side for his own kiss. His was gentler, but no less passionate, the taste of the ale Eliot had been drinking mingling with that of Hardison’s omnipresent orange soda.


	10. Electric Play (explicit)

It had, Eliot reflected, really only been a matter of time before Hardison brought technology into their bedroom. Parker, mad as she was, had made exactly zero objections, in fact he thought she was almost more gleeful about the idea than their hacker.  
Eliot bit back a whine and dug his fingers into the cushions of the couch he had been ‘forced’ to bend over the back of. Of course that forcing had consisted of Parker batting her eyelashes and Hardison giving him a little push in the right direction, but still. There was a humming noise as the machine gave another little electric shock right against his prostate, almost immediately followed by the click of a camera shutter.  
“Hardison,” Eliot growled as threateningly as he could manage while his voice wobbled a little, “That had better not be what I think it is.”  
Hardison moved round into Eliot’s line of sight, holding up empty hands, having already put the camera down.  
The hitter growled again, which trailed off into an almost squeak as he was shocked. Hardison smiled fondly and Eliot’s eyes suddenly widened in horror as he realised what that meant. Parker had complete control of the machine. The next shock was a lot stronger than any that had come before and Eliot was forced to bite into the upholstery. Making a mental note to punish Hardison for that later, he scowled at the hacker in question, who had given up any pretence of innocence and was snapping more photos.  
Behind him Parker considered for a moment, then slid the dial all the way up and flicked the switch. Eliot arched off the couch with a cry splattering the back of the couch with his cum. He slumped down again and lay there limply, prompting Hardison to reach forward to check for a pulse. Eliot growled weakly and swatted the hand away before attempting to push himself up.  
Parker appeared beside him and helped, a wide grin on her face, while Hardison hurried to take Eliot’s other side. Between the pair of them they were able to get their hitter to the bedroom and settled in under the covers.  
As Eliot closed his eyes, Parker slipped over to the door and beckoned Hardison, who attempted to walk as quietly as he had done. There was the creaking of a floorboard and Eliot said without opening his eyes, “Just keep the noise down.” With that Hardison and Parker headed for the main room.


	11. Tara (talk of sex)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of context needed. So Tara had a threesome with Eliot and Hardison, then went and had sex with Parker. Sophie finds out and isn't best pleased.

“The poor girl had never even had an orgasm, it was basically a good deed.” There were few people who could stand up to the full fury of Sophie Deveraux, Tara Cole was one of them. She sat there quite comfortably, sipping a glass of ridiculously expensive white wine.  
On the screen Sophie folded her arms, expression stormy. “And the others? I can’t speak for Hardison but I’m certain Eliot … ahem, either way you could at least have had them separately.”  
Tara laughed and shook her head, “Have you seen the way they look at each other? Whichever won the first time would have used it against the other, it’s kind of sweet actually. Like kids on a playground.”  
With a roll of her eyes, Sophie interrupted, “It’s Grifter rule number two, you don’t sleep with your team.”  
That resulted in a laugh from Tara, “Sophie, darling, it’s fall in love with and if we’re going to be pointing fingers on that particular subject I’m sure you can find a mirror.” She frowned in fake thought, “In fact doesn’t the whole Nate thing fall under rule one, he was your mark for a long time beforehand.”  
Sophie quickly changed the subject, “Does Nate even know? Eliot told me, but he wouldn’t say if he’d told Nate as well.”  
Tara shrugged and asked, “What does it matter if he does? We have an understanding now.”  
This time it was Sophie’s turn to laugh, “If he knows and thinks you took advantage of any of them and regardless of any understanding, you’re dead.”  
Apparently unconcerned, Tara swirled her drink around her glass, “They’re all adults, Nate doesn’t control their sex lives.”  
“If he could, Nate would control everything.” Sophie said with a quiet sigh.  
“Nope.” Tara quickly cut her off, “This is not turning into another brood about Nathan Ford.”  
“I don’t ‘brood’ about anyone, least of all Nathan Ford.” Sophie responded haughtily.  
“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. Now if you’ll excuse me, this glass isn’t getting any emptier on its own.” Tara waved at Sophie with a sweet grin.  
Sophie cut the connection without bothering to say goodbye, but not before Tara saw her roll her eyes. Tara laughed to herself and upended the wine glass, swallowing the last mouthful.


	12. Hardison's Nanna

“I just upgraded the range on-” Hardison's babble about whatever thing he'd done to make their lives a lot easier trailed off and it took Parker a worryingly long time to even notice. Eliot had managed to escape a few sentences earlier, muttering about smelling burning.  
Parker looked around quickly, trying to figure how any of the frustratingly mundane clientele had stopped Hardison when he got into a topic. Suddenly Hardison was pushing her back through the doors to the back room and making shushing motions. Completely ignoring him Parker pushed back, “What's wrong?”  
Looking terrified Hardison shushed her again, “My Nana. She's just … there … I should have known … we have to get -”  
Parker's expression turned distant, “Right, because you're ashamed of us. You're ashamed of me?”  
“What? No, never.” Hardison gathered her into a hug which Parker didn't resist but didn't return either. “It's just what if – not everyone gets you, girl. I can't lose any of you, not you, not my Nana. You get that?”  
Parker nodded slightly against his chest, then finally hugged him back. “You got so lucky, she's not - she's not boring – not normal and I – I've got you?”  
Hardison gently stroked Parker's hair, “Yeah, whatever happens you got me.”  
She sighed in relief, a slight tickle on his cheek, “You've met both my dads.”  
He squared his shoulders, then turned to the door, one arm still around her, “Let's go steal a heart … less literally this time.”  
They approached the table a little nervously, only slightly comforted when the kindly elderly lady looked up with a smile. “This must be Parker, I've heard so much about you.” Somehow she managed to pack approval for Parker and disapproval that she hadn't had more than hearsay into that single word. Before either of them could get a word in she continued, “This is wonderful food, Alec, wherever did you find such a sweet girl and an excellent chef, maybe I should have moved to Portland years ago.” She chuckled, then noticed their expressions. “Alec, I've seen that look before. What did you do this time?”  
Parker snorted and spluttered out, “The chef.” before managing to shut herself up.  
“Oh, I see, you never mentioned that Parker could cook.” Hardison's Nana smiled, only to realise Alec's expression had only changed in order to add embarrassment. She raised an eyebrow and he began babbling.  
“It's kinda a new thing – I mean since the last time I contacted you – so there's no way – I mean I was going to tell you …”  
Nana frowned, “I thought I taught you better than that, cheating on this girl with some -”  
Parker cut in rudely, “He didn't cheat. Hard- Alec would never cheat … except at cards and that's different.”  
Hardison flinched and closed his eyes, only opening them when Parker tugged on his arm. Nana was already halfway to the kitchen and the pair hurried to catch up, Parker continuing “We love each other, all three an- and if you can't accept th-”  
It was Nana's sudden laugh that shocked Parker into silence. “As long as you're all certain of that I don't have much choice but to accept that now do I?”  
Eliot came to meet them with a friendly grin. He held out his hand and when Hardison's Nana took it, bowed to kiss hers. “It's wonderful to meet you, ma'am.” he drawled. In the background Hardison rolled his eyes as Eliot used every trick he had and a few Sophie had taught him to charm the lady.


	13. Yet More Competance Porn

Parker swung down from the ceiling, stopping her rope just before she touched the pressure sensitive plate around the base of the safe. She pressed her ear to the safe, then made a sound of annoyance as Hardison started talking to the mark. Luckily she’d gotten good at tuning out the noise from her earbuds and was able to listen to the quiet clicks. Soon the safe opened and Parker grabbed the files from inside. She also took the bundle of cash, partly to make it seem like a normal robbery and partly because money.  
Holding the papers in one hand Parker yanked on the rope giving the signal to Eliot to start hauling her up. She accepted his hand to pull her fully through the hole, then the pair ran down the narrow corridor to their exit point.  
The fire escape hadn’t been fully extended, but both dropped from the lowest rung to the ground without any problems. Lucille had been parked in a nearby alleyway and they jumped inside. Parker dropped the files and money and immediately started stripping. Eliot automatically turned away and started changing as well. Within moments they looked like a pair of office workers.  
Eliot left first, stopping off for a tray of coffees on the way to the building Hardison was in while Parker took a more direct route half a minute behind him. The three converged, Hardison walking besides the mark. Eliot hurried towards them, head held low and caught the tray of coffee on the mark’s arm. Scalding hot coffee went all over the three and Eliot quickly stuttered out apologies. Parker made the lift while the mark was distracted, pushing her way rudely past the chaos. Hardison was yelling at Eliot, adding to the general state of confusion.


	14. "Come over here and make me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I found this (http://letsgostealafandom.tumblr.com/post/127306209227/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) list of prompts and found myself unable to resist writing a few of them.

“Come over here and make me.” The shit eating grin on Hardison's face offered exactly zero protect from the pissed off hitter that invaded his personal space a second later, far faster than he had any right to have managed to cross the crowded ballroom.

The smile vanished quickly enough when Eliot hauled Hardison by his collar into an empty back corridor. Slamming Hardison face first into the nearest wall and pulling his arm painfully up his back, Eliot growled, “Is this some sort of game to you? Just because you've got the files does not mean you get to play around for the rest of the con.”

Eliot forced Hardison's arm a tiny bit higher and the hacker whimpered. “Okay, okay, damn, I'll do the grift.” With a wordless growl, Eliot let Hardison go. As the hacker rubbed feeling back into his arm he muttered something sarcastic about “genius ideas.”

“It's not my fault,” Parker said breezily as she balanced on a third storey windowsill outside the embassy. “You were supposed to pick something unimportant or at least that's what Sophie said.”

“S-Sophie? You mean you've been talking to Sophie about something I said to you in confidence?” Hardison spluttered.

“Well, yeah,” Parker replied, clearly confused. “You thought I gave out advice on getting Eliot to sleep with you because I had some idea how to make that happen without just asking him?”

When she put it that way it was hard to argue.

Throughout this entire conversation Eliot was just staring at Hardison. Before the hacker could reply to Parker he found himself pinned against a wall again. This time it was a lot more pleasant as Eliot kissed Hardison roughly, nipping at his bottom lip. They made out like this for what felt like hours, but given Parker still hadn't managed to pick the window lock by the time they stopped, could only have been seconds.

Eliot leaves Hardison leaning against the wall for support with a parting “Next time just ask. Oh, and get grifting.”


	15. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I wanted to know what would happen the first time Parker was given one of the choices that Nate always picked the dangerous option that got the job finished.

“Have you lost your damn mind?”

It's nothing Eliot hasn't said to her a thousand times before, but this time Parker glares. “It's the right choice. I'm pulling the plug before anyone gets hurt.”

“This is nothing,” Eliot growls back. “We've all grifted our way out of far worse situations. Even that stupid Ice Man alias!”

“Ahem,” Hardison interjected over the coms. “Does Hardison get a say in this? It's my ass on the line out here.”

“No.” Parker's tone is final. “I'm ending this. Hardison you have ten minutes before Bramson gets here and he thinks you're working for him.”

Over the earbuds Parker and Eliot hear Hardison scrambling to get his papers together.

“You know this is a loss.” Eliot still isn't letting this go without a fight. “We walk away now, we can't come back later. That's a child whose parents can't afford health care that we're leaving. Nate would never-”

“In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not Nate,” Parker snarled, then turned away, heading for her own exit without bothering to check that Eliot is following.

There was a sudden silence over comms, then Hardison spoke, “Sorry, Parker, I'm staying. I can convince Bramson I'm playing both sides, maybe feed him some of the stuff I got from the servers.”

“No!” Parker hissed loudly. “If he thinks you're playing him or have betrayed him, the con is just as blown, only you're in danger.”

Hardison's response was resolute, “Just figure out who at the party is out to get Bramson and I can use that to get him back on the hook. Eliot, if this goes south...”

“On my way,” Eliot replied, already jogging towards the stairs up to the floor Hardison was currently waiting on.

“I don't like this,” Parker snapped as she slid into a nearby closet to change. “Eliot, the second Bramson seems like he's not buying it...”

“I've got this, Parker,” Eliot replied, slightly breathless with running, “Trust me.”

Parker closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again filled with new determination. She could do this, Hardison needed her, but that child needed them more.


	16. Dungeon Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hardison makes the mistake of referring to being a DM on a job and there is no way Eliot's letting that go easily. Parker could totally be a dominatrix. Discussion of BDSM. Male subs, female and male dominants. Brief mention of heaven and hell in a not particularly religious manner.

“Damnit, Hardison, it's a simple question, left or right?” Eliot Spencer was, as he often is, pissed off at Alec Hardison.

“Just give me half a minute, this map is a maze. Last time I saw something this complicated it was a cave system for D&D. Heh, just consider me your friendly DM.” Hardison didn't sound nearly as concerned as someone with both his team members trapped inside a security riddled labyrinth should.

Eliot growled, but before he could say anything, Parker chimed in with “What's a DM?”

There was an awkward silence then Hardison changed the topic, “Uh, left, Eliot. Parker you need to climb up two more floors before leaving the elevator shaft.”

“Hardison.” Parker's voice was half demand and half whine. “Aside from friendly, what is a DM?”

It's clear she isn't letting this go any time soon and Hardison gives in with an embarrassed chuckle, “Uh, it stands for … um, Dungeon Master.” He hides his face in his hands for a second, knowing full well what Eliot's reaction is likely to be.

After a period of silence just long enough that Hardison thinks he might have gotten away with it, Eliot bursts into a roar of laughter. “Dungeon Master?” Eliot asks, then chuckles again. “See now, I'm just imagining you dolled up like a dominatrix in a black corset, with stockings and a whip …” His voice gets more and more contemplative as he goes through the sentence. Eliot goes silent for a while, then suddenly clear his throat. “Which is of course a ridiculous idea and you'd look … ridiculous.”

Hardison managed to get past his own haze of embarrassment in order to latch onto an idea for turning the humiliation onto Eliot, “Oh, and you'd know a lot about what dominatrices wear, huh? No don't tell me, you've dated at least one. Isn't that how you know everything?” He's pretty sure the satisfaction of hearing Eliot's furious growl is worth any revenge the hitter might decide on later.

“I could be a dominatrix.” Parker as ever says exactly the wrong thing at exactly the right time.

Judging by the sounds he's making, Eliot just attempted to swallow his own tongue while simultaneously walking into a wall. It takes both him and Hardison a good while to recover and Parker seems to take this as encouragement. “I mean corsets are difficult to breathe properly in and stockings are just pointlessly long socks, but I like the bit with the whip!” With that she hoisted herself into the ventilation ducts, unable to keep talking for fear of the echo being heard.

“W-why are we having this conversation?” Hardison eventually manages to ask.

“Because you brought up your kinky little way of looking at what we're doing.” Eliot accuses.

“Dungeon Master isn't even kinky, it just means you're in charge … of the dungeons … like literal dungeons with monsters and stuff.” Hardison's explanation falls on deaf ears.

“Right, Hardison, find us a dungeon.” Eliot's tone is oddly triumphant.

“Find us a what? Why do we need a dungeon? Is this a sex thing, because dungeons are not sexy, they're all -” Whatever dungeons were all, Hardison never got the chance to tell due to Eliot interrupting.

“No wait, I can just put in a call to Mistress Felicia, that's likely to mean we end up somewhere that isn't a waste of time.”

“Aha!” Hardison grinned. “You have dated a dominatrix.” 

“We didn't 'date'. Mistress Felicia is a professional,” Eliot admits, suddenly wishing he'd just ignored Hardison's apparently entirely innocent comment.

Hardison whistled through his teeth at that and Eliot realised he could hear typing in the background. “Hold up, is something wrong? I thought all you needed to do was watch the map, unless you're playing a game and you'd better not be playing a game,” Eliot said.

“It's not a game,” Hardison protested, “I'm just looking up this Felicia of yours … and maybe browsing for corsets. A-anyway, you're one to talk. You're just as, no, even more perverted than I am!”

Eliot's grin was rather more feral than Hardison would have been comfortable with had he been able to see it. “Darlin', we're going to finish this heist, then I'm takin' you home and teaching you exactly who is the master in this relationship is.” There's a tone of finality to it and damn it, that should not be hot, but now Hardison is having Bad Thoughts.

He slumps over his keyboards, the buttons pressing into his forehead and groans, “It's official, I'm going to Hell. No wait, this is Hell.”

Eliot's chuckle goes a long way to making Hardison think that maybe, just maybe, it's heaven instead.


End file.
